My headlights are rely triggered, well I burned one up thanks to a pinched wire...luckily only the relay failed from the short and nothing caught fire (guess I should add a fuse...) anywho, I bought a new relay, but it's not a regular one circuit 4-pole kind, it's a 5-pole circuit-switching style relay. Pin #1 is my trigger wire coming from the truck, pin #2 is my ground, pin #3 is my +12 from the battery, pin #4 is the normally closed pin, and pin #5 is the normally open pin. With no voltage on the trigger wire (pin #1), the NC pin (#4) is hot. If I hook my output wire to the headlights to pin #4, the headlights come on, with the headlight switch off....not what I want. But, if I hook my output wire to pin #5, nothing with the switch off, and nothing with the switch on. Any ideas? I wish I had a schematic to show so I can also get a verification as to what the pins do, but I'll try to explain the schem on the top of the relay...

Pin #1 is one side of the coil, Pin #2 is the other side. Pin #3 goes to a switch (next to the coil on the schem), which is shown closed to pin #4. Pin #5 is open.

sounds like you got a bad relay.. #5 should get 12v with the coil activated (switch on) take a DVOM and check resistance from pin #3 to #5 with the switch on should be no more than .2 ohms

Why are your headlights relay triggered? Where did you get the relay?